The Scam That Never Felt Like One

Note: The examples and case studies in this article are hypothetical but represent real situations I have encountered in my practice working with Washington State public employees.

Picture a 54-year-old budget analyst at a county in western Washington. She's in PERS Plan 2 with 26 years in, and she and her husband have about $750,000 saved between DCP and their IRAs.

Her mom is 79, widowed, and lives alone about an hour away.

Lately her mom is on her phone a lot. She mentions a new friend she met online. A good listener, she says.

Nothing about it sounds like a scam. That's what makes it dangerous.

How a $450,000 scam started with one friendly comment

AARP reported a story I keep coming back to [1].

On Christmas Day, a woman in Massachusetts picked up her 74-year-old mother's phone and found messages from someone she didn't recognize. Her mother, Joyce, had spent close to a year messaging people she believed were country singer Vince Gill and his team. Along the way, she sent them about $450,000.

It started with a cheerful Instagram comment hoping he'd come play Boston. Soon, accounts posing as Gill, his daughter and his manager reached out and moved the conversation to private apps like Telegram.

To Joyce, this was a real relationship. They called each other husband and wife.

She was later diagnosed with Alzheimer's, and her daughter thinks that made her easier to fool. AARP's fraud prevention lead makes a fair point, though. These criminals run a playbook that works on people of any age or education level.

The damage outlasted the payments. Her daughter sold her own car to cover her mom's tax bill tied to the losses.

Your age group is on the list too

Romance and confidence scams cost Americans more than $929 million in 2025, based on complaints to the FBI. About $584 million of that came from people 60 and older [2].

Those in their 50s weren't far behind, with more than $131 million in reported losses. And Washington ranked 11th in the country for total internet crime losses, at $458 million.

So yes, keep an eye on mom. But the rest of this applies to you too.

Watch the checkbook before the diagnosis

Back to our budget analyst. Last month her mom paid the power bill late, which never used to happen.

I'd pay attention to that. A Johns Hopkins study of more than 81,000 Medicare beneficiaries found that people later diagnosed with dementia started missing payments as early as six years before their diagnosis [3].

A single late bill could be anything. Several in a row, from someone who's always been on top of her money, deserve a gentle question.

Habits that slow things down

Most people ask for a second opinion only when something feels off. Joyce never felt that way, so I'd tie the habit to an action instead of a feeling.

For our budget analyst, that means a family rule: before anyone sends money to someone they haven't met in person, they call someone first. She makes it apply to herself and her husband too, so her mom doesn't feel singled out.

She also asks her mom to name her as a trusted contact on her brokerage account. That doesn't give her access to the money or let her make trades. It gives the firm someone to call if it suspects exploitation [4]. (As far as I know, DCP doesn't offer this. If you or a parent has DCP, ask Voya what protections are available.)

Alerts for large withdrawals and a second copy of mom's statements give her an early look if money starts moving.

Last comes a credit freeze at all three bureaus. It's free and doesn't touch your credit score [5]. It won't stop her mom from sending her own money, but it does keep anyone from opening new accounts in her name.

A quick word on passkeys

Some of your accounts may now offer passkeys. You sign in the same way you unlock your phone, with your fingerprint, face or PIN, so there's no password or code for a scammer to talk you out of. The federal government's cybersecurity agency calls this kind of login the gold standard [6].

DRS still sends sign-in codes to your phone or email. It suggests a strong, unique password and a current mobile number on your account, and you can call to lock online access if you think something's wrong [7].

Even the best login has a limit, though. Joyce signed in to her own accounts and sent the money herself. She wasn't hacked. She was persuaded.

The tax bill nobody expects

This is where my CPA side kicks in.

Money pulled from DCP or an IRA is taxable income in the year it comes out. Who ended up with it doesn't change that.

And usually there's nothing to deduct against it. Personal theft losses are deductible only when they're tied to a declared disaster, that limit is now permanent, and the IRS has said romance scam losses don't qualify [8, 9].

So a $100,000 scam can turn into a $100,000 loss plus the tax on $100,000 of income.

Where to start

Call your parent this week. Keep it light. Ask about the "call before you send" rule and whether their accounts have a trusted contact.

If you think a vulnerable adult in Washington is being financially exploited, Adult Protective Services takes reports at 877-734-6277 [10].

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If you’re concerned about your current financial plan and would like to explore professional help, consider reaching out.

I specialize in helping Washington Public employees who are nearing retirement or are retired, reduce taxes, maximize pensions, and retire stress-free.

No sales pressure. No obligations. Just professional guidance to help you make the best decision for your financial future.

-Seth Deal

Sources

[1] AARP. "How to Keep a Loved One With Cognitive Decline Safe From Scams." Christina Ianzito. Updated July 7, 2026. https://www.aarp.org/money/scams-fraud/protect-older-parents-from-scams/

[2] Federal Bureau of Investigation, Internet Crime Complaint Center. "2025 IC3 Annual Report." https://www.ic3.gov/AnnualReport/Reports/2025_IC3Report.pdf

[3] National Library of Medicine (PubMed). "Financial Presentation of Alzheimer Disease and Related Dementias." JAMA Internal Medicine, 2020. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/33252621/

[4] FINRA. "Protecting Older Investors From Financial Exploitation." https://www.finra.org/investors/insights/older-investors-financial-exploitation

[5] Federal Trade Commission. "Credit Freeze or Fraud Alert: Which Is Right for You?" https://consumer.ftc.gov/credit-freeze-or-fraud-alert-right-you

[6] Cybersecurity and Infrastructure Security Agency. "Implementing Phishing-Resistant MFA." https://cisa.gov/sites/default/files/publications/fact-sheet-implementing-phishing-resistant-mfa-508c.pdf

[7] Washington State Department of Retirement Systems. "Protecting your retirement." October 5, 2026. https://www.drs.wa.gov/protecting-your-retirement/

[8] Internal Revenue Service. "Casualty loss deduction expanded and made permanent." https://www.irs.gov/forms-pubs/casualty-loss-deduction-expanded-and-made-permanent

[9] Taxpayer Advocate Service. "IRS Chief Counsel Advice on Theft Loss Deductions for Scam Victims and What It Means for Taxpayers." Updated December 3, 2025. https://taxpayeradvocate.irs.gov/news/nta-blog/irs-chief-counsel-advice-on-theft-loss-deductions-for-scam-victims/2025/04

[10] Washington State Department of Social and Health Services. "Adult Protective Services Frequently Asked Questions." https://manuals.dshs.wa.gov/sites/default/files/publications/documents/22-810.pdf